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Stories

Sand crabs and sour plums

  Ian Plenderleith is intrigued by a tale of orchard murder in the Scottish Borders and other football badges in this month’s internet review, but is a touch less impressed by academic obsessions

Just when you’re ready to give up and log off for good to go and do something worthwhile with your life, like recycling old cereal boxes for homeless hamsters, along comes a site that makes you remember why the internet has all been worthwhile. Press ‘Forward’ to July’s site of the month, Footballcrests.com.

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Bottoming out – Stoke

In a dark season for the game as well as Stoke, Ken Sproat saw Newcastle inflict one of the Potters’ 31 defeats of 1984-85 – but can now see it wasn't all gloom

A football team cannot get much worse than Stoke City during the 1984-85 season. There, in the all-time records for being hopeless, they skulk alongside such Victorian disasters as Darwen, Loughborough Town and Glossop. The fewest points in a season (17), the fewest wins (three – all at home), the most defeats (31) and, with 24, the fewest goals (the leading scorer was Ian Painter with six, of which four were penalties). They failed to score in 25 of the 42 league matches. They suffered mathematically definite relegation with eight miserable matches still to play.

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No-win situation

No promotion for Falkirk equals no interest for the fans, believes Dianne Millen, at a time when Scottish football can ill afford to be encouraging stagnation

“Have fun in Division One” was the visiting fans’ chant at Fir Park a few weeks ago: but despite the ritual abuse, it won’t be SPL bottom club Motherwell going down after all. Instead, champions Falkirk will stay in the Bell’s First Division next season, after their application to the Premier League was, as widely predicted, rejected by seven of the 12 clubs on May 23.

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May 2003

Thursday 1 The FA is fined £70,000 for the pitch invasion and racist abuse at last month’s Euro 2004 qualifier with Turkey. UEFA also criticises David Beckham for his “provocative” goal celebration. England’s next match, against Slovakia, will not be played behind closed doors, however. Acting joint chief executive David Davies promises action: “We need to take this decision and use it to our benefit. There are people who have shamed this country, we all know that.” UEFA will also be sending a bill to Sir Alex, who’s fined £4,500 for claiming the Champions League draw was fixed. In the Conference play-offs, Dagenham beat Morecambe 2-1 and Doncaster draw 1-1 at Chester. Thierry Henry is named Footballer of the Year to add to the PFA award he won last week.

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Letters, WSC 196

Dear WSC
The letter from Joe Newman (WSC 195) claimed that only those managers who have sold their shares in the ProActive agency stand to financially benefit from transfers involving the players on the agency’s books: “You don’t make money from shares simply by holding on to them – the only way to benefit financially is by selling them.”
Sadly, it is this sort of view from a fan that concerns me about the level of ignorance of the financial state of football today. Clearly, if these managers have sold their shares in the business, they stand to make no further money from that business. But Joe is ignorant of the fact that shareholders also get paid dividends on their shareholdings. Surely exactly the point that the Football Confidential book was trying to get across?
Alfie Dunn-Lowes, via email

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