Search: 'John Barnes'

For half a century, celebrities have risked making fools of themselves with no need for reality TV, by playing football. But, as John Harding explains, it’s all in a good cause

The lure of the football pitch for theatre folk has always been strong. Ever since professional football became a mass working-class attraction, variety artists have craved some of the allure attached to the game. Before the First World War, comedian George Robey, “The Prime Minister of Mirth”, organised charity fund-­raising matches involving top football stars and music-hall favourites, which drew large crowds. After the war, the tradition continued in intermittent form with teams representing actors, the cinema trade and pantomime artists, dance bands and the pioneering women’s team, Dick, Kerr’s Ladies.

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A chart of the most played football songs in the past five years released by Performing Rights Society leaves David Stubbs wondering who on earth has been left in charge of the PA system

Whenever a list of 50 best-ever songs is released, be they selected by Q readers or Virgin Radio listeners, it tends to cast humanity in a harsh light. A list of the UK’s top football songs based on the commercial reality of which have been most frequently played, as recently unveiled by the UK Performing Rights Society, lowers your opinion of the general public all the more. Is this all we are, as a species?

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Dear WSC
Amid all the furore over the arrival of Kevin Keegan at Newcastle, I was struck by the fact Kev’s old mate Terry McDermott has somehow been kept on at St James’ Park in the ten years since KK’s departure. He usually sat among the coaching staff on matchdays with seemingly no specific role and was never mentioned by TV commentators when the cameras scanned the bench (as they often did during the later days of Big Sam’s turbulent reign). His insignificance was such that I wonder if he had been there so long that no one at Newcastle could actually see him any more. He was visible from afar, showing up on photographs and on TV screens, but up close he blended into the background. Terry has rematerialised fully now that his little mate is back in charge, although his exact role remains unclear – I’m guessing that it doesn’t extend much further than making tea and going out to get Special K’s copy of the Racing Post.
Ross Cannon, via email

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Jon Spurling braces himself for a festive football hangover

Along with communal baths, a crafty drag on a cigarette in the toilets, and swigging a bottle of brown ale with the lads, Christmas parties are entwined in the fabric of English football. “The players have talked of little else for weeks,” confided Ian Rush – dressed in Beefeater garb for Liverpool’s bash – to a BBC reporter in 1992. “All the lads have made the effort to dress up,” added Rushie, as Bruce “The Joker” Grobbelaar and John “Dick Turpin” Barnes  staggered past clutching empty Grolsch bottles. Despite the cameraman’s best efforts, viewers also saw David Burrows – clad as an SS officer – flicking sieg heil salutes, at a time when Israel striker Ronnie Rosenthal was with the club. The whole interview encapsulated perfectly many of the idiosyncrasies of English football: heavy boozing and distasteful pranks were acceptable if they helped forge team spirit.

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The Autobiography
by Tommy Smith

Bantam Press, £18.99

Reviewed by David Stubbs
From WSC 256 June 2008 

Buy this book

“Anfield Iron” (no sniggering, London readers) is the nickname conferred on the former Liverpool captain who improbably crowned a faltering career in the 1977 European Cup final when he quick-wittedly attached his head to Steve Heighway’s blasted corner and scored the Reds’ second goal. However, although acknowledging his hardness and his willingness to intimidate young wingers by threatening to break their legs, Smith protests that he is a fair player. He was, he says, only cautioned twice in his career (although this has increased to three times by page 394). He was famously suspended for feigning an injury in a Cup-Winners Cup tie against Ferencvaros. However, Smith protests, he was only pretending to go down from a bottle hurled from the crowd having been struck by one minutes earlier, unnoticed. So all was fair, really.

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