Dear WSC
Whilst I agree with Tony Dolan’s point (Letters, WSC No 142) that Welsh fans and players alike currently ignore Bobby Gould like your average town centre nutter, I fear that the supernatural hidden powers of everyone’s favourite Celine Dion fan may have been overlooked. I am the Welsh fan referred to in WSC No 141 as having received a letter from Gould during the furore over allegations of his racist comments, in which he advised me to contact (and I quote) “Lori Cunningham (the late)” in order to establish his non-racist credentials. Now, I am prepared to overlook the fact that he evidently thought the legendary Orient and WBA winger had a girl’s name, but to this day I cannot get over the idea that Gouldy (as we don’t call him) apparently has the powers to contact people who are dead. How do they do that, Bobby? It’d be great pre-match entertainment, though, I can see it now. At our next game, in Zürich in March, perhaps Bobby could leave the tactical side of things to the players (rather like against Belarus last month), while he sits on the touchlines with a ouija board soliciting advice on substitutions, whether to use the Christmas tree formation etc, from formerly-alive footballing luminaries. Having witnessed the debacle of Gould’s reign (and our glorious, life-affirming win in Denmark, which was truly astonishing), I’ve finally sussed Gould’s secret. He sees things we’ll never see, he talks to the other side, he may be literally a man of the dark arts. At least that would explain the Celine Dion fascination.
Mark Ainsbury, Wembley
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Stories
Thursday 1 Chelsea progress to the second round of the Cup-Winners Cup after a goalless draw at Helsingborgs, but Newcastle are out on away goals after conceding a penalty at Partizan Belgrade. Hearts are also eliminated despite a 1-1 draw in Mallorca, but will appeal to UEFA because the goalposts were higher at one end than the other. Worth a try. George Graham is the new manager of Spurs. "I will tell the players of my beliefs. I won't change but some of them might have to," he says, all stern and Presbyterian. ""We must never sit on the edge of our seats again wondering if we will be relegated," says Alan Sugar, who seems to have revised his view about bungs and the people who take them. Martin O'Neill looks to be favourite to succeed Graham at Leeds. "It would be stupid of me to say I would never leave Leicester because I was close to walking out in the summer," he says before dashing off to sit by the phone.
Saturday 3 A six-point lead for Villa who win 2-1 at Coventry with the help of a dozy referee's assistant who fails to flag for offside before their second goal. "I hope he will apologise to my family when I can't feed them because I got the sack," bristles Gordon Strachan. Man Utd move to second after a 3-0 win at Southampton, ahead of Wimbledon and Derby, beaten at home by Everton and Spurs respectively. "We are not all pansies at Spurs, I think we can be a tough side to beat," says David Pleat, in charge for the last time. Huddersfield return to the top of the First Division after beating Oxford Utd 2-0, while Sunderland are held at home by Bradford. Stoke's lead at the top of the Second Division is cut to two points after defeat at Reading, while Scunthorpe stay top of the Third despite crashing 4-0 at home to Halifax. Kilmarnock are top in Scotland for the first time since the days of Beatlemania despite only drawing at home with Dunfermline.
Dear WSC
I’m stunned. Whilst channel hopping for some late night smut, I came across none other than Garth Crooks hosting an in-depth politico-chat show, Des-patch Box.I sat transfixed as Garth, a man whose normal journalistic beat leads him to doing humourous pieces on the shopping trips of the Reggae Boyz or Graham Kelly’s musical tastes, spent air-time slapping down Austin Mitchell’s views on the strong pound, summarizing the extradiction of Pin-ochet and probing into why the Welsh Secretary resigned.I first of all dismissed his presence on such a programme as a fluke, poor Garth being pressed into service when a Paxman clone went down with lumbago, chucked a copy of the Independent and told to get in front of the camera. But no! Garth gave a much more measured display than he ever did for Man Utd. At the end of the show he astound-ed me by announcing that he’d be back next Thursday.As a mere lad when Garth was in his prime for Spurs, I remember Tony Galvin being championed by the Topical Times as a major intellectual force because he had a degree in Russian. Shoot! thought Chris Hughton a real academic because he read the Guardian rather than the Mirror. But now know who was the true colossus of culture – Garth Crooks.I can only wonder at what Mark Falco and Gary Brook are doing now – teaching juris-prudence at Oxford and developing new forms of antibiotics, perhaps?
James Kerr, York
Everyone likes a good moan about their local council. Especially Jim Gwinnell and Rob Rushton, who suspect theirs of neglecting one half of their respective cities
BRISTOL
There has long been a feeling among Bristol Rovers fans that Bristol city council might just as well be named Bristol City council. Their suspicions of a pro-City bias on the Labour-run council have been heightened by the most recent moves in the seemingly endless saga over the future homes of the city’s two League clubs. Bristol City want a new 40,000-seater stadium to replace Ashton Gate, while Rovers are desperate for an adequate home of their own.
Tuesday 1 Tony Adams's autobiography, Addicted, serialized in the Sun , lays into Glenn Hoddle's preparations for France 98 – "A lot of what Glenn was doing and saying did not impress me. He seemed quite nervous and was whistling a lot – not the sign of a relaxed man," and his mishandling of Paul Gascoigne's axing from the squad – "Gazza was an ill man and Glenn did not properly understand the illness of addiction." Apparently, Glenn's nickname among England players is "Chocolate" because he think he's good enough to eat. What times they must have.
Wednesday 2 Millionaire pranksters Media Partners announce a rejigging of their European league plans, with two extra clubs added to each of the two super league divisions (you remember) and an extra 32 to be involved into the knockout Pro Cup, thereby including every country in Europe, which would be lovely. Glenn and Tony hold a press conference at which Glenn denies, in characteristically sticky fashion, that he was upset by Tone's comments about him. "He is entitled to his opinions, many of which are positive. In a strange way I think it has brought us closer together." "I've got total respect for the man, not because he's sitting next to me, but because I have," adds Tony, improvising nicely. Man City are to be invited to become tenants of the new 45,000 capacity multi-sports stadium to be built in Manchester for the 2002 Commonwealth Games. Lottery funding, however, seems to be dependent on City moving in.