Dear WSC
Allow me to be one of the first begrudgers in the queue. For some reason Manchester United are being described as being a member of European football’s “elite”. United fans should realise that their team has just gone from winning the European Cup as many times as Aston Villa, to winning the European Cup as many times as Nottingham Forest. “Elite” my arse.
Brian Hughes, via email
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Stories
Monday 1 Glenn Hoddle refuses to step down as England coach, but Tony Blair and, more importantly, the Nationwide building society come out against him. "He has a responsibility to ensure that his personal views shouldn't be confused with those of the England team, the FA or its sponsors," says Mike Lazenby, Nationwide's marketing director. "I'm not some crackpot who comes out with stupid remarks to cause controversy," Hoddle insists, despite all evidence to the contrary. John Hartson is fined £20,000 and given a three-match ban by the FA for his training-ground attack on Eyal Berkovic. "I have to control my aggression," Hartson says, which will be unwelcome news to his manager.
There are big plans afoot for football in a corner of Greater Manchester, Ashley Shaw explains
“Tameside is the largest Metropolitan Borough in England without a League team, that is a fact that we intend to correct as soon as possible.” This was how Peter Barnes, chairman of Conference hopefuls Stalybridge Celtic, helped kick up one hell of a stink in Tameside, East Manchester.
Dear WSC
Surely the insouciant arrogance with which David Elleray slithers to cover up his mistakes cannot be unconnected with his day job? Who remembers a school teacher who ever admitted to getting something wrong? Of course, as a servant of the privileged classes, Elleray performs his role with a polished charm, his eyes glinting like a demented pterodactyl. But beyond this saurian resemblance, I can’t be the only person to notice that the penalty he gave against Sean Dyche, for obstruction outside the area, was a carbon copy of the dreadful decision he gave against Frank Sinclair when he came shoulder to shoulder outside the box with the dying swan of the Ukrainian ballet, Andrei Kanchelskis, in the 1994 Cup Final. It’s time this man was confined to the playing fields of Harrow.
Martin Humphrey, London SW4
Dear WSC
I recently attended the Blackburn Rovers v Coventry City delayed Fourth Round FA Cup tie. During the game the referee approached Gordon Strachan to warn him against coaching from the sidelines only to receive the reply that he was allowed to run up and down the touchline because he was sub. Aside from whether or not this is a valid defence, it occurred to me that the ban on coaches and managers issuing instructions from the side of the pitch is rather bizarre. Can explain why it shouldn’t be allowed? It seems to me that thousands of people in the ground are allowed to shout (often conflicting) instructions to the team, and to ban the coaching staff from doing so is unfair. In any case the chance of the manager’s voice being heard above the noise is slim, the chance of the instructions being understood by the players is very remote, and there is an ice cube in hell’s chance of them actually acting on the instructions and making a difference to the game. It may even add to the entertainment if, say, some of the more vocal managers were allowed to run up and down the touchline shrieking instructions. Imagine it’s the last five minutes of Manchester United losing to Wimbledon in the FA Cup – you’d have Alex Ferguson, Brian Kidd, Joe Kinnear and Sam Hammam vying for positions on the wing and shouting simultaneously, “Get it in the box!” and “Hoof it in the crowd!” You might even get the odd player losing concentration at a crucial time and missing the ball because, for example, he was trying to understand what Arsène Wenger had just yelled at him. Surely everyone would like to see Arsenal lose like this?
Jeremy Barker, Tonbridge