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After three years in Milton Keynes, the Dons still don't have a proper ground and are facing up to League Two football. Graham Dunbar looks at the state of Pete Winkelman's bastard brainchild

The line-up of talent playing in Milton Keynes this year is surprisingly expensive and all thanks to a stagnating stadium-building project. Why else would Robbie Williams spend five September nights in Britain’s fastest-growing urban centre, were it not for the continuing and ludicrous unavailability of the new Wembley? The part-owner of Port Vale seems to have no further need to visit football grounds.

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Friday June 9
Possibly because Barry Davies, the last man who could take these things seriously, is missing, the BBC only show highlights of the opening ceremony. It includes lots of men in lederhosen, some ringing large cowbells attached to the waistbands of their shorts in a vigorous and vaguely pornographic manner. There’s a parade of former World Cup-winning stars, including what Jonathan Pearce describes as “The legend that is Italy”. “Ricky Villa – still tall,” gurgles Pearce later. Pelé arrives with the trophy, but brandishes it like he’s just won it, followed by Claudia Schiffer with Sepp Blatter in tow, sporting luxuriant sideburns that give him the look of Ben Cartwright from Bonanza.

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Nick House's pre-season optimism was high, however, the Torquay side he supports had to perform the Great Escape, yet again

This might not always be a good division, but it enjoys intrigue, twists of fortune and a particular quirkiness. Northampton, for instance, won promotion employing a player on loan from Ryman League side Fisher Athletic. Chester’s survival was helped by loanee Derek Asamoah who, in an otherwise barren season, produced a seven-goals-in-four-games burst.

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Wednesday 3 Hearts’ win over Aberdeen means they will take Scotland’s second place in the Champions League. Sam Allardyce seems to have conceded defeat in his bid for the England coach’s job after Bolton’s 1‑1 draw with Middlesbrough: “It just does not look as though I am the favourite at the moment.”

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Swansea's latest big-match success was against Carlisle. But, to the frustration of Huw Richards, as always a fixation with near-neighbours overshadowed the victory

Fans chanting ecstatically. Players cavorting triumphantly on the pitch. You know the routine, seen anywhere someone is celebrating the attainment of some prize – a cup, promotion, or maybe survival.

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