Simon Tyers watches ITV and Sky attempt to outdo each other in the calamity stakes as television football coverage slowly becomes a parody of itself
The comedic songwriter Tom Lehrer once said that satire died on the day that Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize. Seeing Neil Ruddock cast as an expert on a show entitled England’s Worst Ever Football Team, I knew exactly how he felt. At the other end of the scale, ITV’s commentary is the satirical equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel.
This part of east Africa has a deep love of football, both in domestic and international terms. Andy Ryan reports
It’s a title decider. Red Sea FC, the traditional giants of the Eritrean game, will be champions if they beat struggling Tesfa. A whisper in my right ear says: “Watch Red Sea’s number eight, he has much talent.” Less than 20 seconds later, number eight dispossesses a defender, rounds the keeper and gives Red Sea the lead. The baseball cap-wearing Nostradamus smiles.
A club's sudden demise has left many fans angry, or worse, suspicious. Saul Pope sheds some light on events in Russia's capital
At this year’s New Year celebrations, FC Moscow fans toasting their side would have been looking forward to the new season. The club had finished in the top six the previous year, was in the semi-final of the Russian Cup and had a promising young manager in Montenegrin Miodrag Božović. But in early February they suddenly found themselves without a club after their main investor announced they were stopping sponsorship and removing the club from the league. This sponsor is Norilsk Nickel, the world’s biggest producer of nickel, based in Taimyr, a peninsula 6,500 kilometres from Moscow.
Opened in 1871, one of the oldest football grounds still in use will shut at the end of the season. While grumbles about the football will always endure, some things will never be the same again, says Roger Titford
The first Taylor Report into ground safety appeared in 1989, the year the Berlin Wall was breached. Just like the Berlin Wall, there’s precious little left standing today of our traditional Football League stadiums. One of these terraced grounds really ought to have been preserved in its entirety for the nation by English Heritage but instead I pay homage to Saltergate, while a few fixtures remain.
The Premier League's generosity in giving larger hand-outs to its relegated clubs may not quite be all it seems. Mike Holden explains
Three years ago, three American economists emulated the non-fiction phenomenon Freakonomics with a book documenting their mathematical studies into sports data. Among other things, The Wages of Wins looked at the “competitive balance” of leagues across a variety of sports using a formula known as the Noll-Scully measurement, leading them to conclude that basketball will always have a competitive balance problem due to the relative lack of tall people.