Dear WSC
The recent screening of the 1975 FA Cup final by ITV unearthed disturbing memories that had remained buried deep inside me for over two decades. The need to unburden myself of this long-forgotten trauma has its origins in the Fulham full-back on that occasion, John Cutbush, and in the commentary of David Coleman on the BBC coverage of the final. Others may remember West Ham’s clash with Fulham for the performances of Bobby Moore and Billy Bonds, but not me and my equally strange chums. For some reason, Coleman clearly pronounced the Fulham No 2’s surname in a curious and outlandish way, approximating to “Cootboosh”. As were many at the time, we were particularly sensitised to Coleman’s verbal meanderings, and this caused much mirth as we sat gathered around the television. Later that evening we returned repeatedly to Coleman’s creative licence with Cutbush, culminating inevitably (beer involved here) in further elaborations and versions of the name. Good Saturday night fun, you’ll no doubt think. However, things did not end there, as maybe they should have done. For months, nay years afterwards, blameless pub-goers were subjected to increasingly theatrical, elongated and continental versions of the basic ‘John Cutbush’. I particularly remember a friend rolling around as if possessed on top of a pool table and wailing out a six-minute Germano- Hispanic variation, prior to being ejected by the landlord. I suppose in time we all moved on from this phase in our lives, some of us to pursue promising careers, establish stable relationships and have families. But none of us will ever really rid ourselves of the spirit of John Cutbush. Where is he now? And what were you thinking of, David Coleman?
Steve Edwards, Birkenhead
Search: ' Lex Gold'
Stories
John Marshall profiles the Hibernian chairman who has never invested a penny in the club and remains an unpopular figure among supporters
Distinguishing Features Lex is always well coiffured. In fact rumour has it that what he has on top may not be all natural. He dresses well, like a senior civil servant, and so it will come as no surprise that for many years he was exactly that. The current issue of the fanzine Mass Hibsteria has Lex’s picture alongside that of camp Aussie comic Bob Downe. Picture Bob and you’ve pictured Lex though it’s a toss up as to which is the comedian.
Wednesday 4 High drama at Barnsley who beat Spurs 3-1 in their replayed Cup tie. With the game scoreless, Stephen Clemence is sent off after collecting a second booking for a dive in the area. (Gerald Ashby is later described by Les Ferdinand as giving "the worst refereeing display I have ever seen".) Late in the game Jurgen Klinsmann is taken off with a suspected broken jaw. Two goals from Alan Shearer prove just about enough to see off Stevenage at St James' Park, 2-1 the final score, though Kenny is still up for a whinge: "Off the pitch they left a lot to be desired. They need to learn a lot about manners". (The crash you can hear is stones being thrown in a glass house).
Saturday 7 A very odd day with Man Utd the only one of the leading clubs to manage a point, Andy Cole getting a late equaliser against Bolton at Old Trafford where the match was preceded by wreath-laying in memory of the Munich air crash. Liverpool miss a chance to close the gap, losing 3-2 at home to Southampton – "It's nice for a bluenose to come here and win. I'm going to have a pint now and a gloat," says David Jones – and Blackburn come badly unstuck against Spurs at Ewood Park where the visitors score twice in the last minute in a 3-0 win. If the papers are right, this saves Christian's job, with Jurgen supposedly about to take over as manager had the match been lost (he'd be in no position to shout instructions for a while, though). The three clubs promoted last season are now in the bottom three places though Barnsley are now level with Bolton after a 2-2 draw with Everton. Newcastle give home debuts to three new signings, including Gary Speed who cost £5.5 million from Everton, but still lose to a Stan Lazaridis goal for West Ham. In Division One the three clubs relegated last season hold the top three places, with Sunderland moving up to third after winning at Wolves. Forest stay top after a 1-0 win at Portsmouth where the Vince Wolanin consortium is poised to make another takeover bid. In Scotland Rangers slip up again, conceding a last-minute equaliser at home to Dunfermline.
USA v Iran may not be the greatest match at this summer's World Cup, but Mike Woitalla hopes it will help to end political hostility
To be considered as soft on Iran has been the kiss of death in American politics since Jimmy Carter’s presidency crashed with a failed attempt to rescue 52 US hostages, who were held for 444 days in Tehran. But Iranians could have felt some relief had Bob Dole defeated Bill Clinton in the 1996 presidential election. Comic relief, that is. Pronounce or spell “Dole” in the Persian language (Farsi) and it comes out as “penis”. (Not that the White House dick has stayed out of the news, but that’s another story).
Things could be about to change in Scottish football, as Gary Oliver analyses what the future holds for the SPL
Tony Blair may have no intention of repealing trade union legislation, but that has not prevented ten Scots hankering for a closed shop. And far from being Old Labour dinosaurs, these protectionists are the thrusting ‘entrepreneurs’ who chair Scotland’s Premier Division clubs: in the crusade to create an autonomous Premiership, their latest threat is to sever all links with the Scottish Football League and dispense with promotion and relegation.