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Stories

Life at the bottom – Division Three

WSC readers and fanzine editors weigh up the coming season

BARNET

John Cosgrove

How will your team do this season?
Bit hard, this one. Our new manager has currently signed five new players with the promise of more to come. Even so, we can’t expect too many great things from a bunch of Peterborough rejects. Realistically we’ll come mid-table (again).

Who is going to be the most important figure at the club this season?
John Still, our 7th manager in 12 months! We need to bring a bit of stability to the club after the Alan Mullery debacle.

If you had to come up with a new piece of merchandise to sell at the club shop what would it be?
As we have a club shop which can rightly claim the title of “Worst Shop in The League” (to go with our proud “Worst Ground in the League” award), any piece of merchandise would be nice. Getting the new kit on sale before Christmas would be a novelty.

Which player at your club most divides the home support and why?
You name him! Barnet fans tend to sway towards the fickle side. Even Sean Devine (top scorer two seasons running) gets some stick.

Which element of the matchday environment would you most like to change?
Topical one this. One of the editors of Two Together was recently refused service at one of our snack bars on the grounds that they were closing. It wouldn’t have been so bad but there was still over half an hour of the game left to go. Jobsworths are alive and well at Underhill.

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The wanna bes? – Division Two

WSC readers and fanzine editors weight up the coming season

BLACKPOOL

David Blundell

How will your team do this season?
Had Gary Megson stayed as manager I would have tipped us for automatic promotion, but with the unwelcome changes in the summer I would say a play-off place would be a very good result for the new man, Nigel Worthington.

Who is going to be the most important figure at the club this season?
Fans would have preferred a diehard Tangerine at the helm, so Nigel Worthington must convince them that he has the club at heart and is not, like Megson, simply looking for another entry on his CV.

If you had to come up with a new piece of merchandise to sell at the club shop what would it be?
Our proposed ‘super stadium’ has gone through more changes (over a number of years) than Man United kits, with movable roofs, dual pitches, floating pitches, 20,000 seats, 40,000 seats etc,etc. There could be small replicas of each version for fans to collect, but they’d need a huge amount of shelf space.

Which element of the matchday environment would you most like to change?
Any change to the half time entertainment would be welcome – I remember a recent Autoglass Trophy tie when two fans from each side had to remove and replace a car windscreen. Worse, a couple of seasons ago, we bought four of the giants from It’s A Knockout, which would race the full length of the pitch and try to score a goal. The hilarity began to pale thirtieth time around. Thankfully someone broke into the ground and reputedly vandalised them beyond repair, although I am convinced one of them has made occasional appearances for Birmingham City.

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The would bes?

WSC readers and fanzine editors weight up the season to come

BIRMINGHAM

John Tandy

How will your team do next season?
At best mid table; at worst it’ll end in tears.

Who will be the single most important person at your club?
Probably the combination of owners and the Chief Executive. The names of the club and the stadium are up for sale, so by the time you read this I may well be watching Atletico Notcutts Garden Centre at the Bordesley Family Butchers Stadium (except if that ever happens, I won’t be). There’s money at the club, but it still has to be spent astutely.

If you had to come up with a new piece of merchandise to sell at the club shop what would it be?
A Mark McGhee dartboard would sell like hot cakes.

Which player at your club most divides the home support and why?
Probably, I’m afraid, Paul Furlong. There are those who say that he’s workshy, ineffective and inadequate – and there are those that really don’t like him at all.

What one thing would you most like to change about the matchday environment? I’d quite like the football to be more interesting.

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Life at the top – Premier League preview

WSC readers and fanzine editors weigh up the season to come

ARSENAL

Boyd Hilton

How will your team do this season?
Third (again)

Who is going to be the most important figure at the club this season?
Arsène Wenger: he’s the most intelligent person ever to be associated with professional football anywhere in the world ever, so this is our chance to just sit back and enjoy whatever he comes up with…

If you had to come up with a new piece of merchandise to sell at the club shop what would it be?
Life-size, fully realistic, 100% physically accurate model of Ian Wright.

Which player at your club most divides the home support and why?
Ian Wright: bizarrely, a sizeable portion of the fans seems to think that we’d do better without him, that he’s too old, too selfish, or some such crackpot theory. These people are clearly insane or are from the Arsenal old school and simply can’t cope with too much pleasure.

Which element of the matchday environment would you most like to change?
Installing some kind of device which sends a near-fatal electric shock through anyone who shouts “Yiddos!” and make it easier to get a half-time cup of coffee, perhaps by getting rid of the enormous bar area in the North Bank and installing 10 coffee stalls.

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What are you like?

In WSC 115 we asked you how you felt your club was fairing on and off the pitch  and you feel the biggest problems facing the game are. Roger Titford reports the results

So how has football’s boom left the typically cynical and crisis-hardened WSC readership feeling? In the six years we have been conducting these surveys we have never had such upbeat results, but many of you can sense the problems of success (aka too much money) just around the corner. All percentages are based on 720 replies.

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