Search: 'John Barnes'

Friday 1 August Attilio Lombardo finally signs for Palace for £1.6 million, after lowering his personal terms – the penthouse suite overlooking Central Park has gone, but he'll still gets the go karts and the dolphinarium. Liverpool confirm that Robbie Fowler, injured in a pre-season match, will miss the opening fortnight of the season. Newcastle block Peter Beardsley's transfer to Bolton. "It's an opportunity for Peter to lengthen his career here," says Kenny, keeping a straight face as ever.

Sunday 3 Man Utd win the Charity Shield on penalties after a 1-1 draw with Chelsea. "United were more dangerous when we had the ball than when they had it," says Ruud. The Wim Jansen era at Celtic begins with their first defeat by Hibs since decimalisation. 

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Here's hoping that an Eastern European team can defy UEFA's unfair structuring by winning the Champions League or UEFA Cup

You may know a Stranraer fan in Devon. You might even be the secretary of the Croydon branch of the Arbroath supporters’ club. All over England there are small groups of mostly middle-aged men who once in a while pile into a minivan and drive several hundred miles to watch a Scottish Third Division match.

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Saturday 1 Steve Coppell is back as Palace manager. "I've been around here on and off for quite some time," he says, while Ron Noades reopens an old, unresolved mystery: "I don't think his leaving Maine Road was to do with ill health. I think that's something Man City put out." "If we do not receive an apology Mr Noades will reap the consequences of what he said," replies a City spokesman.

Sunday 2 Man Utd take a four-point lead at the top after a 3-1 win over a vaudeville troop from Coventry, who chip in with two own goals in the first five minutes. A Shearer-less Newcastle are beaten at home by Matt Le Tissier's goal for Southampton, but Arsenal keep their Champs and Runners-Up League hopes alive by winning at Everton, back on the slide again. West Ham and Middlesbrough tighten their hold on the bottom two places, following defeats at Leeds and Sheffield Wednesday. Meanwhile, Irving Scholar's Nottm Forest boost their survival hopes by beating Spurs 1-0 at White Hart Lane. "We are slipping into a bad area," says Gerry Francis, as though he'd never been 13th before.

Tuesday 4 The Grobbelgaate (copyright WSC) match fixing trial finishes with the jury being discharged after failing to reach a verdict. The Crown Prosecution Service will press for a re-trial. "Maybe we should decide this on penalties," says Bruce, in a clown-prince-of-soccer sort of way. Newcastle, unrecognizable with four forwards missing and Robert Lee up front, lose 1-0 at home to Monaco in their UEFA Cup Quarter Final first leg. Still, at least they won't be facing an intimidating crowd in the return.

Wednesday 5 Man Utd, with Ryan Giggs outstanding, put in one of their best home displays in Europe beating Porto 4-0 in the first leg of their Champions League Quarter Final. "I would have been happy with 1-0 if we kept Porto at bay but 4-0 is just fantastic," says Alex Ferguson looking as close to cherubic as he'll ever get. Earlier in the day Alex confirmed that he would not be allowing Man Utd players to take part in England's Summer tournament in France which begins three days after the World Cup tie in Poland. Liverpool and Newcastle are expected to follow suit. Looks like a Spurs XI, then. Mike °ÆMr Controversy' Reed is taken off the Chelsea v Leicester League match which he was due to referee next week, "after careful consideration of the factors involved," according to a League spokesman, although neither club objected to Reed being in charge.

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Sunday 1 Leeds jump up to mid table after two early goals, including Ian Rush's first for the club, see off Chelsea at Elland Road. Civil war within the Premier League is being predicted after the announcement that Rick Parry is to leave his job as chief executive to take up a similar post at Liverpool, where one of his first tasks may be to negotiate the club's first pay-per-view TV deal. "I believe there is stability and vision at the top of our great game," he says in signing off. He may have been laughing. Tabloid coverage of Parry's departure includes reference to the "so-called Big Five" of which Newcastle now appear to a member, to the exclusion of Spurs. That should swell Alan Sugar's postbag.

Monday 2 Liverpool are second after a 2-0 win at Spurs, their second a tame McManaman shot that takes a freak bounce over Ian Walker, almost identical to a Collymore goal at Blackburn last season. "It was lucky we brought that portable divot with us," says Roy Evans. Arrigo Sacchi leaves his post with the Italian national team to return to AC Milan. It is thought likely that his successor (under-21 coach Cesare Maldini is favourite) will restore some of the players omitted by Sacchi, including Baggio, Vialli and Signori. But probably not Silenzi.

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Tuesday 1 Fabrizio Ravanelli claims that Man Utd want to buy him: "It's very exciting because they are a more prestigious club," he says in an interview with an Italian newspaper. "There is no foundation in these stories whatsoever," says Martin Edwards. Bryan Robson is unavailable for comment, probably because he's speechless. A doctor treating Diego Maradona claims that he has suffered irreversible brain damage due to his cocaine addiction and might die if he were to attempt to play again. Brighton's home defeat by Lincoln, which leaves them second bottom place in Division Three, is interrupted by a pitch invasion. The FA may now enforce the three point deduction threatened after the abandonment of the match with York in April.

Thursday 3 After Fabrizio, Faustino, who says in a radio interview in Colombia, "I left Italy for Newcastle with the idea of being a champion, but now I am just a substitute. I am not happy." Also thought to be on their way soon are Philippe Albert, subject of a bid from Middlesbrough, and David Ginola, who may be offered to Barcelona in part exchange for Miguel Nadal, whom Kev wants partly because Alex failed to get him (soap opera plot No 55).

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