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With several new and reformed clubs in the English and Scottish Leagues, Ian Plenderleith finds their sites offering goat sacrifices, laughable claims of sportsmanship and matrimony on the cheap

Scottish League newcomer FC Gretna’s web presence is minimal, but any parsimonious, football-minded elopers may be excited by the chance of holding their wedding reception in the club’s salubrious bar for free. “Make your Wedding Day both special and different,” the club’s official site promises. “We also offer the use of our facilities to pre­pare your own food.” It is too modest to men­tion the incentive of a free glance out the win­dow at Gretna v Albion Rovers while doing the conga.

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The full story of Wimbledon's proposed move to Milton Keynes has been masked by the refusal of the scheme's backers to reveal themselves. Ian Pollock reports

A special commission of the FA started meeting on May 14 to decide whether the owners of Wimbledon FC should be allowed to move the club to Milton Keynes. But while the club’s chairman Charles Koppel has become the main figure attracting antagonism from Wimbledon fans, it has been much less clear who is driving the deal from the other end.

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Dear WSC
On January 13, Paul Alcock officiated at the Northampton Town v Bury match. During the obligatory photo just prior to kick-off, home mascot Clarence the Dragon made as if to push Alcock à la Di Canio but actually made no contact. Alcock’s reaction was to spit out: “Oh very fucking funny! I haven’t heard that one for at least ten fucking minutes.” This in front of the two young mascots who immediately told their parents as they came off that the referee had sworn at Clarence. Unbelievably, Alcock actually reported the “incident” to the FA with the result that the club has been fined and Clarence handed a severe reprimand and cautioned as to his future conduct. Just what planet does this prissy little pipsqueak come from? Talk about double standards.
Peter Smith, Northampton

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