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Sunday 1 Middlesbrough miss a chance to go third by conceding a last-minute equalizer at home to Forest. Pierre van Hooijdonk doesn't play but Paul Gascoigne does, having discharged himself from the addiction clinic. Paul will still undergo treatment but intends to move in with with his Dad: the latest in a long line of smart moves by the troubled Geordie. Sunderland, the League's only unbeaten team, return to the top of the First Division after a 3-0 win at Bolton.

Tuesday 3 A mixed night in the UEFA Cup (English clubs used to win it, you know). Villa lose 3-1 at home to Celta Vigo to go out 3-2 on aggregate, and Leeds are eliminated too after a goalless draw with Roma at Elland Road. Liverpool go through, however, on away goals after a 2-2 draw in Valencia, though they end the game with nine men after Steve McManaman and Paul Ince (no, really) are sent off in a general fracas towards the end. Celtic are out too, beaten 4-2 in Zürich.

Wednesday 4 In the Champions League, Man Utd thrash Brondby 5-0 and are now looking a good bet to win their group – “the first half was one of the best I’ve seen,” says Alex, hopping from foot to foot. Arsenal, though, drop to the bottom of their section after a 3-1 defeat in Kiev and will need to win both their last two matches to qualify for whatever stage comes next (look it up if you must).

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Saturday 1 It emerges that the clubs planning a European super league are to meet with the European Commission to establish whether UEFA or FIFA would be able to prevent a new competition being set up outside their control. Meanwhile, Alex Ferguson joins in the debate, saying: "There's been a lot of panic in every quarter about this. But when you assess English football with all the great matches you can get, does anyone really want it broken up?" Keith Gillespie looks set to be Newcastle's first sale of the summer, joining Middlesbrough for £3.5 million. Boro are also said to be in competition with Aston Villa to sign Juninho from Atletico Madrid. Celtic begin their defence of the Scottish Premier by thrashing Dunfermline 5-0.

Sunday 2 Pierre van Hooijdonk asks to be transfer-listed in the wake of Kevin Campbell's departure for Trabzonspor, saying, "I'm not prepared to let my career go down the pan. Right now the team is not good enough to survive in the Premiership." Dave Bassett responds: "Once again Pierre's lack of control has surfaced. He's got four years left on his contract." In the Scottish League match held over from yesterday, Hearts beat Rangers 2-1. There'll be another 16 English and Scottish league matches broadcast on Sky before the end of August. Spoilt, we are.

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Saturday 2 "I hope it's not too late," says Colin Todd as Bolton move out of the bottom three with a 5-2 home win over Palace, managed for the day by Ron Noades, who may become Brentford's new owner next week. Barnsley are down after a 1-0 defeat at Leicester – "The first half of the season was a steep learning curve for us," says Danny Wilson. Spurs are almost safe after thrashing Wimbledon 6-2 at Selhurst Park with J®πrgen Klinsmann getting four. Newcastle are in the clear after a 3-1 win over Chelsea, though the FA are likely to charge Alan Shearer with misconduct over the Neil Lennon incident. In the Second Division, Watford are champions after a 2-1 win at Fulham, who just squeak into the play-offs . At the other end, Brentford drop down to the bottom division for the first time in 20 years after losing at Bristol Rovers, Burnley stay up through beating Plymouth 2-1. In the Third, Lincoln take the third automatic promotion place after beating Brighton while Torquay lose at Leyton Orient. In Scotland, Rangers cock up again, losing at home 1-0 to Kilmarnock.

Sunday 3 Arsenal are champions after beating Everton 4-0 at Highbury. "I thought I had to keep my emotions until now in case we did not win the title," says Arsene. And you thought he was just shy. Everton now need to beat Coventry next week and hope that Bolton don't win against a probably under-strength Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. Man City go down to the Second Division, despite winning 5-2 at Stoke, who are also relegated. Middlesbrough are back in the Premiership. Celtic miss a chance to wrap up the Scottish title, conceding a late equaliser at Dunfermline. Justin Fashanu is found dead seemingly having committed suicide.

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Tuesday 2 West Brom drop down to fourth in Division One after losing 1-0 at home to (gasp) Man City while Sheffield Utd move above them following a 3-2 over Stoke. In Division Three a League record is equalled at Wigan where Bristol Rovers have four players sent off, together with one from the home side. Three go after a mass brawl triggered by the first dismissal, of Rovers defender David Pritchard. "It was atrocious, abysmal and an absolute disgrace," says Rovers manager Ian Holloway, talking of the refereeing rather than the fighting. Doncaster get their first win of the season, 2-1 v Chester, to take them to within six points of Brighton.

Wednesday 3 West Ham beat Crystal Palace 4-1 in a restaging of the match abandoned due to floodlight failure last month. The game is watched by officials from Juventus said to be considering investing in Palace for reasons that remain obscure, possibly some form of collective madness.

Thursday 4 So-so World Cup draw for England who'll be playing Tunisia, Romania and Colombia, harder for Scotland, up against Brazil in the opening match of the tournament (traditionally a low-scoring game, though) then Norway and Morocco. Ray Harford resigns as manager of West Brom as a prelude to taking up the QPR job, saying "At times there were problems with the travelling. A chance came that was going to be better geographically." Did he fly home from Blackburn every day then?.

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WSC readers and fanzine editors weigh up the coming season

BARNET

John Cosgrove

How will your team do this season? Bit hard, this one. Our new manager has currently signed five new players with the promise of more to come. Even so, we can’t expect too many great things from a bunch of Peterborough rejects. Realistically we’ll come mid-table (again).

Who is going to be the most important figure at the club this season? John Still, our 7th manager in 12 months! We need to bring a bit of stability to the club after the Alan Mullery debacle.

If you had to come up with a new piece of merchandise to sell at the club shop what would it be? As we have a club shop which can rightly claim the title of “Worst Shop in The League” (to go with our proud “Worst Ground in the League” award), any piece of merchandise would be nice. Getting the new kit on sale before Christmas would be a novelty.

Which player at your club most divides the home support and why? You name him! Barnet fans tend to sway towards the fickle side. Even Sean Devine (top scorer two seasons running) gets some stick.

Which element of the matchday environment would you most like to change? Topical one this. One of the editors of Two Together was recently refused service at one of our snack bars on the grounds that they were closing. It wouldn’t have been so bad but there was still over half an hour of the game left to go. Jobsworths are alive and well at Underhill.

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