Saturday 1 Leeds are bottom of the Premiership after a 4-1 home defeat by Arsenal. Mark Viduka is left out of the squad after missing a players’ meeting and arriving late for training. “If I started looking over my shoulder with all this speculation, I wouldn’t be able to look forward,” quips Peter Reid. Chelsea beat Everton 1-0 at Goodison Park, but defeat fails to stop Wayne Rooney dressing up as Oliver Hardy for his 18th birthday party, where guests include Atomic Kitten, Robbie Williams and “more than 200 friends”. Man Utd beat Portsmouth 3-0 at Old Trafford, Cristiano Ronaldo pausing long enough between performances of the hokey-cokey to score his first goal for the club, while at White Hart Lane Jay-Jay Okocha inspires Bolton to a 1-0 win over Spurs. Manchester City beat Southampton 2-0 at St Mary’s amid rumours that Nicolas Anelka’s absence from the City side is a consequence of his failure to attend a clay pigeon-shooting trip. “Mills is just a fucking idiot,” observes the usually unflappable Paul Ince after Danny Mills’s altercation with Lee Naylor creates confusion from which Gaizka Mendieta scores Boro’s first goal in a 2-0 victory over Wolves – a surly afternoon ends with police quelling a full-time mêlée in the tunnel. First Division leaders Wigan beat Crystal Palace 5-0, Andy Liddell’s two goals making him the club’s all-time highest goalscorer. Wimbledon win their first game at Milton Keynes, 2-1 against Bradford, but stay bottom. West Brom’s Darren Williams faces a police investigation for kicking a spare ball off the pitch and injuring a woman in the crowd during the goalless draw with Sunderland. QPR are the only club in the top nine of the Second Division to win, beating Stockport 2-1 at Edgeley Park and moving up to third place. Leaders Plymouth draw 2-2 with Oldham, while Brighton also draw 2-2 against Peterborough in Mark McGhee’s first match in charge. In Division Three, leaders Hull are held 2-2 at home by Macclesfield, allowing Doncaster and Oxford to edge closer as both win.
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Stories
Dear WSC
After “sick as a parrot” and “early doors”, it seem we must now brace ourselves as another football cliche takes root. Apparently, no one in the game can now refer to the patently obvious without reach- ing for a little spurious gravitas by des- cribing it as “well documented”. In case it is not yet well documented just how irritating this affectation has become, I thought I’d get the ball rolling.
Jeffrey Prest, via email
Wednesday 1 “If you defend badly you deserve everything that happens to you,” growls Sir Alex as Man Utd concede two goals in three minutes in a 2-1 defeat at Stuttgart. After Chelsea’s 2-0 home defeat to Besiktas Claudio Ranieri defends his decision to make five changes from last weekend’s team: “It is easy to second-guess after the match but I did what I thought was right.” Rangers concede a late equaliser to draw 1-1 at Panathinaikos.
Thursday 2 “We like to think we are a caring and consulting club,” says Leeds chairman Prof John McKenzie, who decides not to sack Peter Reid after consulting with fan groups and shareholders. An Arsenal tenancy at Wembley could still happen after the board admit at their AGM to being £200 million short of the money needed for the new stadium at Ashburton Grove.
Friday 1 Manchester United are fined £1.6 million by the Office of Fair Trading for price-fixing replica shirts. One of the other ten businesses to be charged are… the FA who will have to pay £158,000 for selling overpriced England shirts on the internet in 2000-01. Tangled web-weaver John Fashanu says he has resigned as chairman of Barry Town, though there is some doubt whether he ever really held such a position. Jody Craddock leaves Sunderland for Wolves, who are also to sign Senegalese striker Henri Camara and Spurs’ Steffen Iversen.
Stop this farce and have a little respect
FIFA have missed an opportunity once again. In new rules introduced for the season, players are forbidden to wear sleeveless jerseys and there are to be no slogans or advertising on undershirts. The latter stipulation at least means that a seemingly very partial God will no longer be thanked by an evangelical Brazilian striker on scoring his side’s fifth against Venezuela. But once again, players who kiss their badge after scoring have escaped censure.